If You Don't Value Your Life, Why Should Others?

I get into this a lot and it often gets me in a bit of trouble to discuss it. Some feel I am being insensitive but I find that I continue to stand true to these feelings even so.

The one thing we are responsible for in life more so than anything else is OURSELVES. We must value ourself in order to have a meaningful life. If we don't value ourselves, how could we ever realistically expect others to value us? If you are being run over by others, step back and ask yourself, have you clearly defined your boundaries? Have you given these people feedback that their behavior is unacceptable towards you? You have to take up for yourself just as you would for any other living being out there.

So this is where I am deemed heartless at times. If someone is in a bad situation and isn't willing to do what it takes to pull themselves up out of it, then why would I want to put myself on the line and the lives of those I love to intervene in your life and try to do your soul work for you? This is particularly true with domestic violence cases. Yes, see, now I have touched the nerve. Everyone has tagged these folks as victims and immediately rally round them to help. And yes, they are victims but I see it differently. When you allow yourself to be abused and yes, I did say *allow* which inflames and outrages many people, but when you *allow* that in your life, then your primary abuser is YOU, not the other person. Because YOU are the broken one and until you are willing to fix yourself, you will continue to seek out situations and people that will allow you to maintain that victim status. Pretty harsh statements aren't they? Now you see why I have been labeled heartless. But I am a firm believer than when change is necessary in your life, you have an obligation to yourself to make it happen. It isn't for other people to do. Not a good neighbor, not a police officer, not a brother, father, or sister. No one other than YOU. If your life is broken, then fix it. If you can't do it all at once then figure out what you can do. If you have someone violent in your life, take them out of the equation -- find a way to get rid of this person. End of story. AND if you have children, all the more reason to do so. It is very unfair to make your children be victims of your cowardace. And yes, I do call it cowardice plain and simple, because you have brainwashed yourself into believing you have no power, are helpless and doomed. Poppycock.

And for those out there that reach for suicide as the solution to problems -- no one can stop you if that is what you are set on doing. I have sunk to emotional lows before where I wallowed in helplessness and grief, and anger and woefulness. But you know what? My tormentor was not the world or my circumstances. My tormentor was ME! It was my mind set. Sometimes people can get themselves out of it on their own. I was one of those fortunate ones that was able to pick myself up, dust myself off and change my mind set. And when I changed my mind set, my whole world changed.

However, I realize sometimes it is more complicated than that and depression is linked to chemical imbalances. But you still have options. You can investigate medication options whether it be chemicals or natural remedies based on consultations with a medical professional, you can avoid things that are triggers for depression - if you are feeling down, you don't watch movies that are emotionally volatile that would negatively impact you. In other words, people, you take responsibility for yourself, recognize you have a problem and then ask for help and begin to do something about it. But what you don't do is play games for attention and just pull people into your special hell and take them on the roller coaster ride with you. You created your own hell for yourself, don't jerk other people around with it.  To me, for as long as you are talking about suicide, you aren't genuinely suicidal. You are just reaching out for attention. And with that being said, I suppose that really tossed me over the edge as heartless.

I am sorry for the heartless sound of this post. I don't mean to be insensitive. I am an avid believer in accountability and that we are responsible for our actions and inactions.

Let me know your thoughts. Am I a complete and total jerk about this? Or do I make sense?

I look forward to your responses.

Bright Blessings,
Rayven Michaels