Be Wary of Predators and Inappropriateness

If you are thinking of joining a coven or seeking a teacher, I can't stress this enough: Be wary of predators and inappropriateness. The disgusting truth is, there are people in this world with ulterior motives and they learn to say and do whatever it takes to gain your confidence and then twist it for their selfish purposes. Once upon a time, these people were called *confidence men*. This type of person will make themselves shine and look very reputable and knowledgeable so that people will trust them. Once the trust is gained, they have set their hook and they begin to weave their web of horrors.

To any young person I say this - NEVER GO WITH ANYONE ALONE and NEVER GO IN SECRET. I know when you are underage and have parents strongly opposed to involvement in Wicca, the temptation is strong to hide your activities and your associations with others. Please, please, please, do not make clandestine meeting arrangements with others without someone, preferably your parents, truly knowing where you are going. Because the sad thing is, once you have gone off alone, if things go south, it could be too late to help you by the time others are searching for you. In recent months, a young girl was snatched in the street and even with all the info that was had on the kidnapper, finding him 2 hours later was already too late -- in that short time span he had already violated and murdered her.


Paganism and Wicca very much embrace sexuality as a healthy and normal expression of life. There is no judgment regarding sexual orientation or the activities between consenting adults. However, this is not a license for sex predators to come sweeping in as if anything goes, nor should it be a license for people to coerce others to submit to nudity and sexual advances. Sex with minors is WRONG and ILLEGAL. It doesn't matter if a minor is willing -- the adult should not engage sexually with a minor. (And minors, don't you DARE lie about your age -- people's lives can be irreconcilably ruined and they can even do prison time based on your misrepresentations.)  If you find yourself confronted with a teacher or coven pressuring you to participate in nudity or sexual activity, or mandating that you MUST submit, stand your ground, firmly decline and disassociate from them.  Don't ever be so desperate for a teacher or coven that you put up with bad behavior.

The mom in me will tell you the same things that I told my daughter when she was growing up -- when you attend events with strangers, don't drink anything that you don't open yourself and if you leave it unattended even for a second, toss it and get a new one. You never want to lay yourself bare to the possibility of being drugged and raped. Also, travel in pairs or more - and guys and gals, don't go all macho on me thinking you are capable and can hold your own in a fight. One strategic blow, needle jab or chloroform rag over the nose and mouth and you're down. Don't go into any structure or vehicle or closed space of any kind with someone you don't know, barely know, or sometimes even that you do know. If the person is using drugs or alcohol, be wary. If you are using drugs or alcohol, never do so to the point that you make yourself helpless. Predators delight in that type of scenario. Don't make their work easy for them. Be aware of your surroundings and its goings on at all times. If you see anything that looks wrong, inappropriate or makes you feel uneasy -- leave. Be sure to call someone and let them know what is going on and that you are leaving.

Why is this a problem if Wiccans believe in Harm None? Because just as with any other groupings of people, there are bad apples in every bunch. Sometimes they are caught early on and weeded out. Sometimes they give enough signs of lechery that many are able to avoid being accosted. However, some people are more naive and trusting which is just what a predator looks for. The last place we ever expect to have to worry about all this is in our spiritual community and its leaders -- which is exactly why predators fly under the radar taking advantage of this environment of blind trust. You may have seen in recent headlines, the Pagan community has experienced just such a violation. One of its notable members, a musician, author and speaker at festival workshops was busted for child porn -- downloading, uploading and distributing. And even worse, stories are now coming to light from victims over a 20 year period making allegations that this man has violated them ranging from sexual harassment, inappropriate touching and sexual abuse. Very nauseating. Pointing out that other religious communities have suffered the same sort of ills in their ranks does nothing to minimize the severity of this man's crimes in the Pagan community. (NOTE: I would be remiss if I did not make clarification that accusations doesn't automatically equal truth -- people can and do make false claims sometimes -- the stories of each victim will have to be assessed for validity.)

I guess over all what *mother hen* Rayven is trying to say is, be very responsible in your interactions with others. Put your safety first before your desires for knowledge and training. Don't ever let anyone press you to do anything you aren't comfortable with. If you are a minor, don't ever allow an adult to pressure you into nudity or sexual activity. At the first indication of inappropriateness, sever ties with the person. And don't be fooled by same gender scenarios -- predators come in both sexes, all ages, and have many schemes to achieve their goals. Make certain you are one step ahead of them and out the door when they try. This is one time when I strongly urge you to use your intuition -- if something doesn't feel right, leave regardless of how many good references you've been given or how desperately you wanted training. Trust your instincts -- if you feel uncomfortable, there is good reason for it.

Bright Blessings, Be Safe and Blessed Be,
Rayven Michaels