Bullying -- It isn't just kids on kids

Bullying is a very sad issue in society today, and rightly so. And while the thrust of the focus is bullying of kids in schools, bullying isn't limited to just that environment. Adults play the same evil game, they just play a little differently. Adults whisper, gossip, black ball and shun. It's like a silent but deadly disease that once it is focused on you, it spreads and devours your life and does so sometimes before you even know it is happening.

I lived in a small town once. It was a beautiful place. After many years of living in the area and doing a 45 mile commute to a large town, I took a job locally in a town nearby my home. Initially, I was accepted and treated well. Then something changed. I was *different*, I wasn't *mainstream*. A few began with snickers and private email exchanges. Those got forwarded and circulated to others. Then google searches began, people looking for anything that could be found so these devious people could poke fun, have laughs, and shred holes in my life for their amusement. However, it went beyond hidden laughs and began to make people react to me - shun me. Not want to do business with me or be seen with me, or have to associate with me in any way.

The worse thing is -- it was business people, church people, school people, parents of my daughter's friends, the list grew and went on and on. I couldn't walk through my town anywhere publicly without being aware it was happening. It wears on a person. I began working out of town again, holed up in my house in the country and went to nearby towns only when I had to. I much preferred the anonymity of shopping in a town 45 miles away to shopping for convenience in my home towns. So, I shopped infrequently or through the internet. My life locked down. I had my husband and daughter and handful of awesome people as friends and that was my world. That was enough and all those supportive people are still in my life today.

What was the trigger? Was it because I was a Wiccan Witch? Yes and No. Let's start with the no part. I say no because NOT ONCE did I ever self-identify publicly as a Wiccan Witch. It was a town of only 4500 population and had nearly 100 churches to service them. It didn't seem prudent to out myself so I never did. But yes because one person decided they recognized things in me that made me a Witch so she started it. What was it that made her think so? As far as I can tell, a black dress I wore to a costume party with a spider hat. It started out as a snarky thing but escalated to certainty as the whispers spread.

I was in my 40s and this did not lessen the sting of it. But my larger concern was the safety of my teenage daughter. I didn't want her to suffer the backlash. Some of it did spill over onto her but thankfully not a lot.

All I can say people is that bullying in ALL its forms at ANY AGE is WRONG! It hurts people and it destroys their lives. I chose to leave that town -- one that I had spent 25 years of my life in but within 4 years of the start of what I am calling bullying, I didn't want to live there anymore. So I left. I ended up selling my home at a great loss just to escape. Now I live in a city with over 40,000 population. I like the anonymity here. I have the freedom to be openly me without fear of consequences -- to a point anyway. I live my nature based life, I dress how I want which you know if you've been following my Count Down to Funky 55 posts. What I don't do is wear pentacles or other symbols that would trigger people to guess that I am Witch and Wiccan. I never have and probably never will. I choose other symbols like spirals and trees to serve those needs. Call me a coward but it is instinctive now to shield myself. So, although I like to think that I walk tall in this world, fear from the past incident does cast a lingering shadow.

I champion the victims of bullying whenever I see it. I end with this plea -- Please think about your words and deeds. Before you whisper that next snarky remark about someone, poke fun at someone else's expense, pass along a rumor, etc. -- remember that you are contributing to a silent form of bullying and it is just as painful and harmful as other forms.

Bright Blessings and Blessed Be!
Rayven Michaels
Wiccan Witch of the Midwest